During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
