everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style