i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
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Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
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He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.