Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution