Already got asked if we're dating
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.