Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar