I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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