You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
