That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
