maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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