i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
