Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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