i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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