sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
