oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
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you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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