Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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