Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
