I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
