Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize