yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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