Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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