I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize