that's an acceptable place to lick
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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