I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Randomize
