I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize