Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
