There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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