To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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