Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
