eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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