dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
