I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
