Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
