Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
