Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
