Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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