I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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