just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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