why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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