the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
