God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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