this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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