yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
