Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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