Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
