did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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