True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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