I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
