next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
