dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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