yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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