We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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