Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
