have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
