But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
