I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
