i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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