would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I will die if light touches me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
