he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
