so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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