Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
